Back to Real Life!

Well, school is over and now that I got that coveted Master’s degree; reality has set back in. What reality you may ask? Well, the one that hits you in the face when although you graduated with honors and have a lot to offer, you still can’t find a good paying job!! So then you wonder if you took the right path. Hell You have friends that didn’t even complete a bachelor’s degree but making more money than you. Maybe I should have just stayed with one company and worked my way up like a lot of our parents and grandparents may have done? But who wants to work at the same company for 45-50 years?!  So, in six months time to repay those  awful student loans . Not completely our fault, our parents didn’t save and plan to pay for our college education. Oh how we give our children a huge disadvantage. But somewhere in the distance you still hear…. “go back to school, you will get ahead.” Education is the key. I wish someone will please point me to the door my key opens!

Balancing Act

I feel overwhelmed this semester with school, work and managing this on-line magazine I started. Then you have to add in time with my nephew who is really my son and family. I can’t imagine being married and having a husband to add to the mix right now. I would be a evil little thing I’m sure. How can you successfully balance all your different obligations and roles? I mean something will go lacking, there is not enough time in the day to give everything 100 percent. I look toward the finish line at school, this last year is kicking my butt, I’m trying to figure out what my schedule will look like when my practicum starts. Hhowever  I must say that during this time in my life God is blessing me and opening doors. With all the news and reports of recession and lack, God is filling my barn and positioning me for the work he would have me to do. So I have to persevere during this time, run the race….etc. As Donald Lawrence recorded…I’m encouraging myself. Hal-leu-uj-ah…..

Honor thy father and mother

As I reflect today on my dad’s 81 birthday, I am grateful and honored to have a father like mine. Last year this time he was recuperating from a triple bypass and to make complications worst he already had one leg amputated for his diabetes years ago. Needless to say I was nervous and wasn’t sure he would make it. But by the grace of God and my dad’s resilience he is here another year and doing quite well.

I have to be honest I didn’t always honor my father, I didn’t really get along with him as a child and I went through a period in college were I blamed my mom and him for somethings in my life. But as you get older and wiser you realize how a blessing your parents are.

My dad is the coolest person. He didn’t make as much money as my mom but he worked, paid all house bill, cooked meals for his kids everyday. By the way he is the best cook in the world! He helped his children get dressed and took them to school and protected his children. How many black girls can say that had a great dad like that. My dad told me I was beautiful and that’s probably the reason I don’t settle or try to get affirmation from people who don’t have my best interest in mind.

As I think back on some of the other great things my dad did like serve his country. My dad is the greatest and MY HERO. I am strong black women because of  him and my mom. He has set the bar and I can only be a better person for having him in my life. Happy Birthday, daddy.

This is the first time I’m Proud to be an American, well second!

Well, many people didn’t think it was patriotic when Michelle said  ”"for the first time in my adult lifetime, I am really proud of my country” Well, I can say that this is honestly my second time in my adult life I’m proud of my country. The first was a historically significant moment it was just after my first experience outside the country. I was on tour and spent 15 days in Israel, and I was so proud when I walked back on American soil and said there is no place like The United States of America!!! lol

But today, is the first real feeling of pride and honestly the first time I believe I embraced and wanted to be an American. This day of Barack’s inauguration means so much to me. I’m so glad my parents and all those other countless people who lived during the times where they couldn’t even sit at same counter with white people get to experience this day in history. My dad who will turn 81 next month never imagined this day!! So I agree and relate to Michelle. Her words ring so True! “This is the first time in my adult life that I am proud to be an American.”

Forgiveness has a price.

Sometimes when people wrong us and betray our trust we are hurt. That hurt can first make us angry, untrusting, hard, callous and unforgiving. But if we take time to sort through the hurt the Spirit will bring to our remembrance a time where we wronged someone or betrayed someone trust and you realize that you don’t have the right to hold unforgiveness in your heart. Mainly because it will keep you right in the place you are and you have given yourself permission to be a victim. Secondly if you want to be forgiven you have to forgive. “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses”.Matthew 6:14-15. Thirdly you cant possibly be about life’s purpose and be any good to others if you let these seeds of unforgiveness to blacken your heart. I was hurt by a friend actions this weekend and I immediately went from hurt, to feelings that I would never forgive but thank God for the Spirit that lives within me, reminding me that love forgives. Now I don’t have to let this person have the same space in my life but I have to forgive. I have much work to do and God has forgiven me over and over again!

Are we Monogamist by Nature?

 Let me start by first saying I do think monogamy is possible and God honors it. But is it natural? I have to admit I don’t date much anymore and when I did, I wasn’t interested in one guy for very long. Don’t get me wrong I love men, none of that funny stuff but I always seemed to lose interest fast and wanted to meet someone new. I remember my dad telling me when I was a teenager that I wouldn’t get married and if I did I would have three and four men. I know you are thinking, why a father would say that to his child? I mean at that time I wasn’t even thinking about relationships like that, I was a teenager. At the time it seems harsh too but now that I’m older I think he wasn’t necessarily making a statement about my ability but my nature. I’m 33 and there has been only one man that I loved and could see spending all my days with, and I had no desire to even look at another man but he couldn’t commit to me. Go figure. One of the reasons I think marriage is so hard is because you commit to this one person and have to stay married when you are no longer interested in being married. The reality is polygamy was actually the social norm in the Bible days and then in the New Testament we start to hear about monogamy. But funny how men were allowed more than one wife, is it because it was easier for woman to be faithful? Or that’s the perception because women cheat more than men these days. Maybe that’s the point; the greatest gift to someone is to give you. That is the sacredness of marriage. It’s a spiritual union, not one lead by the flesh. So our flesh says let me have all I want but the spirit says no. If we are lead and love in the Spirit of God we “lay down our life” by denying those fleshy natures and honor our covenant. Yes, it’s difficult but there is no greater love than a man who lay down his life for his friend. So maybe it’s not natural but the greatest expression of love. I look forward to being able to give someone that gift one day. Share your thoughts.

No New Year Resolutions For Me!

Its 4 more days til the new year and I won’t make unrealistic resolutions that everybody knows they don’t follow. Instead  I am picking three goals this year, that I will plan out specifically. They will be smart: specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time orientated. In order to accomplish my goals I will write them down and share them with people I know will encourage and keep me accountable. As this new year starts one thing we have to make sure we do is survey who is taking up space in our lives. I don’t have room for people who refuse to do better. This year I have a lot of work before me. I’m finishing a Masters in School Counseling, trying get my magazine of the ground, and striving to live a more healthy lifestyle.  So as the new year approaches I think clearly and intentional. No resolutions for me, but goals that I know I can attain with hard work and perseverance.

T.Sharee

Real Meaning of Christmas is God’s gift not yours.

Hello, why do people, or “grown” people think they are suppose to get gifts for Christmas? Now I have told a few of my friends that I’m not buying gifts for any adults. Actually because of the economy I decided to only by my nephews Christmas gifts. Why do people spend money trying impress people and don’t have enough money to pay their bills? Pretty ridiculous to me. It’s like keeping up with the Jones. I don’t ask people what they buying me, its seems a bit self serving if Christmas is about Jesus right? What make you assume gifts should be given to you? What have you died for this year? I’m not suggesting that everyone decide to only buy children gifts, I’m just saying don’t go around asking what you are getting and if your friend says they are not exchanging gifts this year, it has nothing to do with friendship. I think its a bit shallow myself. I know some single parents that don’t have enough to even buy there kids a gift this Christmas. How about you donate to buy a child something and realize your grown aspirin don’t need a Christmas gift, lol

Friends, how many of us have them?

I launched this on line magazine and have received support and comments but I have to be honest, I kinda disappointed that a few people who I’m suppose to be in relationship with have not, after sending two issues out, taken the time to read them or give me their honest feedback.

I mentioned this disappointment to my best friend and he reminded me of a time where I didn’t fully support him. I however, beg to differ when he was venturing out with a new gig, I was very interested. I listened to ideas and gave my input. I was actually a little offended when he compared what I felt to his disappointment with me. In my case the person had not even acknowledged or responded to my emails.

Well it just makes me remember what my dad would always say to me. He said even your friends will lie to you. “BUT I’m your daddy, I will tell you the truth.” In essence he was trying to tell me he has my best interest in mind. My question is how many people do we have in our life that don’t have our best interest in mind. If something is important to you and they cant find the time to even read one article you wrote, then the answer is they don’t care about you.

I will even venture to say a lot of those people who seem to be in your corner are not. Now I have the spirit of discernment so I know those people who in their heart don’t wish me well or don’t have pure motives when they are in my face, but its a little different when you just have people who have time to pull on you. If your friends are consumed with their on lives and work and wont take the time to support you, they are not your friends.  

I will continue to be myself and support and help others because it’s part of who I am.

T.Sharee

I finally Launched!

It’s so easy to actually put legs on those ideas you may have set on for years and just do it. What can happen? You fail? Well sometimes in failure great opportunities arise. I officially Launched my on line magazine Nov, 2008. I have received emails of support and also had a few debates about articles published. I wanted to provide a forum for discussion. I also wanted to blog about this experience of launching out and stepping out on the Edge of huge possibilities. Edge will be controversial and no-nonsense so be prepared to get real and lets engage in conversation.