Assessing The Mental Health of The Black Church

I watched and observed how the Black Community responded to the recent exposure of a troubling issue that spans all ethnic groups, all cultures. The sexual exploitation and abuse of children is an ever-present evil we should all take personally. We should never hesitate to educate, converse, speak about childhood abuse. When I speak of children I specifically mean boys and girls under the age of 18. From the Eddie Long scandal to Tyler Perry speaking out about being sexually abused , to Oprah’s special on men being abused as children, to a closer scandal at a church I spent years serving…….. I wonder if this issue at hand is being obviously or ignorantly ignored.  Is this really an issue of sin, immorality vs. morality, evil vs. good, privileged vs. unprivileged, greed vs. generosity  ……….an all attack on the church as many church goers assert?

I have to be honest; I am pretty black and white generally. Once learning that this person that I once followed was suspected to be a predator, I admittedly took a side. I have never been one to care about titles, gifting, status, and position. I had experienced enough in my life to understand that those things did nothing to reveal the soul of man/women. I can simply say I am not a respecter of person, most of my friends can testify to that.  But I can without hesitation say I immediately was on the side of the children once the claims were substantiated. I didn’t care about anything else and quite honestly didn’t think much about the welfare of this sick man who abused his power. I cared about his wife, his children, who are innocent and negatively impacted, the church members who spent years giving and building up this church, but honestly he became irrelevant.  I only wanted to support the welfare of the children/victims. I was once a member and built undoubtedly some of the most significant relationships in my life at this church but that all didn’t matter. I won’t support the abuse of children close up, from a distance or as a bystander. My thoughts are people can find other churches, other jobs, but once you damage a child life that can’t be undone.  It was clear to me what the priority was the welfare of all the children, even those children not directly involved.

So it’s unbelievable and disturbing to see so many people have this seemingly righteous indignation and passion to make excuses, continue to support and justify such horrendous things. We saw how New Birth Members proudly defended there “Bishop’s” character when they never knew who Eddie Long really was. I would venture to say none of them knew him intimately and fully.  But it seemed people immediately gave him the benefit of the doubt which is the first and most tragic reason children don’t come forward when abused. They know that no one will believe them and they fear being ostracized. They know its wrong and want to come forward, run to a safe place, but there is none. They feel helpless.  I wonder if it was their child would some of these people have the same response. How dare Christians be so ignorant to continually trust leaders with no real accountability or transparency? Not only do you not know how they are managing the money that you give, you can no way defend how they truly live. I will never say what someone won’t do; they will make you a liar every time.

What is the real issue? I gamble to make a very feasible argument. “Were Crazy as HELL!!!”  As African American’s we fail to seek mental health treatment. We are depressed, suffer from personality disorders and sometimes psychosis and the like and we never get help. Basically, were nuts. We are mad about the wrong things, don’t practice the principles we preach and protect the wrong people. The fact is that as African-Americans 1 out of 3 people with Mental Health issues seek or receive adequate treatment. Historically African-Americans have mistrusted mental health professionals. Some of that is because of the large disparity in care and not having access to mental health resources.  I believe also that as a community/culture we are more concerned about the stigma of seeking such services and wanting to hide and cover these issues that no culture is exempt from. With all the mega ministries that are supposed to be the Lord’s church, why are there more ministers and yes men/women on staff than psychologist and licensed mental health professionals?  I like many people can think of situations in our families, church, community that called for this kind of help and it was kept quiet and none of the individuals involved received any mental health support or sought treatment. We were more concerned on saving the image of individuals or family names and all to ready to put up a front, façade. We rather be entertained and wowed by man’s gifting than to be transformed and challenged by real leaders. Too concerned about all the wrong things and continually choosing to ignore the most important issues.

How ridiculous is it for a person to consider a matter like the ones we have been faced with, a “Bishop” sexually abusing children and make a comment like “love covers a multitude.” That’s crazy as hell, to use convenient Bible scriptures to justify ignoring the sickness of a person and put more children lives at risk.  Let me highlight some of the disorders that take place in situations like these. Firstly, “Narcissism” is the disorder that allows individual’s to be so self-absorbed, not caring about the welfare of others including these church member’s that ignorantly defend criminal and ghastly acts.  Hurting any and every one with no regard or taking responsibility for their actions. Believing they are above others and above reproach and can have anything they want no matter what the cost. Having the inability to admit and with genuine repentance ask for forgiveness and step down and seek professional help for those clearly irrational and seriously wrong impulses. Narcissism also allows an individual to think they can just throw money at a situation, settle out of court and have no other consequences for criminal behavior. They have no rational instincts to step down, even for an interim to seek help. One last attempt to show a picture of Narcissism is to consider the image of Eddie Long on that Sunday morning after all these allegations were made. Even if all of it was untrue which is very unlikely, he stands with a bad hair piece arrogantly and in grandeur makes the most stupid response ever. And probably thinks it’s really about an attack on the church, about boys trying to take him down and come against him, like he’s the king. They just want his money and insanity makes the people believe that. To read more about Narcissist Personality disorder you can consult the DSM description below.

Another noted disorder that seems to be present in these situations is “Pedophilia”. Rarely are people admitted for this disorder but it is commonly found and usually never detected in time. My personal opinion is in situations like these people close to pedophiles may have seen signs and had suspicions but chose to ignore those signs or just ignorant of them and thus years go by and nothing is known. Below you will find the profile of pedophile. If an adult wishes to spend more time with children than adults or seem more comfortable with children over adults you may want to observe the behavior closely. Don’t be ridiculous and take this out of context, I have chosen a career where I work with children so obviously I am comfortable around children. However, if 5 out of 6 times I chose to engage with children than adults, that may indicate a problem, it may not as well. But as clearly indicated on Oprah show, they groom their victims; often buying the victims gifts, giving money and other things that lure the child. They always want to help children who are “troubled” or may not have two parents. Pedophiles are always seen as upstanding people to those around them. They appear to be trustworthy and gain the trust of the children’s parents.

Another point is that in these situations, people cannot simply spiritualize and conveniently looked through religious lenses. African-Americans have traditionally ran to the church or family to deal with these very serious mental disorders, however to be ignorant and to fight a war with the wrong weapons is a defeat before it started. We have to consider our mental health and identify even those social pathologies that enable us to not only help but perpetuate such a serious issue. If you ignore these issues, it will continue to kill and in these situations I highlighted further endanger the black male in particular. .  Black Mental Health professionals need to become more visible in their churches. This can be done by talking with parents and children and providing counseling and appropriate referrals for more treatment as early as abnormalities are identified. If the right response or the key to healing was only at this altar we erected we surely wouldn’t have such horrible stories of abuse of power and sexual abuse hitting us right in our own backyard, right in our own sacred churches.

Please don’t allow religious rhetoric, false loyalty, and unrighteous efforts to cloud the truth. This behavior is first a sickness and second it is never justified and never should be tolerated. Never should a status, pastor, title, man be placed above the lives of many children. We are responsible to protect and train children up in the way they should go. No adult who wants to touch, manipulate, suck, fondle, kill the faith of a child at any point is trustworthy and incapable of leading and making rational decisions. I can’t even fathom the thought that they can conceive what the will of God is…… For those people who just want to look at this through the lens of God’s word ponder on this, “And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck” (Mark 9:42). No one denies that there is redemptive work in the blood of Christ and forgiveness. Let’s not be irrational though to believe that this behavior don’t disqualify you from this type of office. No one in education, mental health, or helping professions can abuse ethical and legal issues presented in these situations to this proportion and still practice or work in and around children. Their license/credential/privilege to serve is revoked and they are never qualified to operate in those fields again.  Not only are convicted pedophiles sent to jail, their name is on a registry to protect other families from the hell they bring to children. How dare the church try to protect and don’t follow the same ethical guidelines. Quite Insane!

Lastly people don’t understand the significant and tragic effects of childhood abuse. Many sexually abused children act out sexually; the abuse took place in their body so their body is the enemy, they can also become future perpetrators. They develop “Post Traumatic Stress Disorder”, have issues with trust and develop problems with addiction and emotional problems. They have coping problems and are more prone to suicidal ideation. One of the most compounded problems can be the family/loved ones response to the abused child. If they make the child feel guilty or believe the perpetrators denial this can have a profoundly devastating effect.  As a responsible citizen/parent/Christian/professional you should ALWAYS report a sexual abuse claim to proper authorities.  I am not saying you should always believe the claim but it’s your responsibility to take it seriously. Never take it upon yourself to determine if the child is lying. It is not your place unless you work for Child Protective Services and is assigned to be the investigator. As parents understand that most children WILL NOT tell. So watch for signs, don’t trust many people to keep your children overnight or be with them unsupervised. Don’t trust just because someone seems “trustworthy” or have titles. It can take years for your child to come forward. It kills the spirit of children…………………………..

To see statistics and more info about sexual abuse http://www.prevent-abuse-now.com/stats.htm.

Narcissistic DSM IV Criteria

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:(1)  has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)(2)  is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love(3)  believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)  (4)  requires excessive admiration(5)  has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations(6)  is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends(7)  lacks empathy:  is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others(8)  is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her(9)  shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

Retrieved on March 15, 2011 from http://www.mental-health-today.com/narcissistic/dsm.htm.

General Characteristics of Pedophile:

Popular with both children and adults.Appears to be trustworthy and respectable. Has good standing in the community.Prefers the company of children. Feels more comfortable with children than adults. Is mainly attracted to prepubescent boys and girls. Can be heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual.”Grooms” children with quality time, video games, parties, candy, toys, gifts, money.Singles out children who seem troubled and in need of attention or affection.Often dates or marries women with children that are the age of his preferred victims.Rarely forces or coerces a child into sexual contact. Usually through trust and friendship. Physical contact is gradual, from touching, to picking up, to holding on lap, to kissing, etc.Derives gratification in a number of ways. For some, looking is enough. For others, taking pictures or watching children undress is enough. Still others require more contact.Finds different ways and places to be alone with children. Are primarily (but not always) male, masculine, better-educated, more religious than average, in their thirties, and choose jobs allowing them greater access to children.Are usually family men, have no criminal record, and deny that they abuse children, even after caught, convicted, incarcerated, and court-ordered into a sex offender program. The marriage is often troubled by sexual dysfunction, and serves as a smokescreen for the pedophile’s true preferences and practices. Are often, but not always, themselves victims of some form of childhood sexual abuse. Even if the pedophile has no children, his home is usually child-friendly, with toys, books, video games, computers, bikes, swing sets, skateboards, rec room, pool, snacks – things to attract children to his home and keep them coming back. Usually the items reflect the preferred age of his victims. A female pedophile usually abuses a child when partnered with an adult male pedophile, and is often herself a victim of chronic sexual abuse. A pedophile can act independently, or be involved in an organized ring, including the Internet, NAMBLA (North American Man/Boy Love Association), and other pro-pedophilia groups. Some pedophiles recognize that their behavior is criminal, immoral, and unacceptable by society, and operate in secrecy. Some are quite open and militant about their practices and advocate the normalization of pedophilia under the guise of freedom of speech and press, and uses innocuous language like “intergenerational intimacy. “Pedo means “child” in Greek. Phile is a derivative of Greek, Latin, and French, meaning “love.”The Exclusive type of pedophile is attracted to children only. The Non-Exclusive is attracted to both children and adults. A pedophile will not stop on his own, and will not turn himself in, because he does not take responsibility for his behavior and denies that he’s doing anything harmful. He will abuse until he’s caught. A child not always recognizes when he or she is being abused, manipulated, or groomed by a pedophile. Unless the pedophile is a sexual sadist, he does not have to threaten a child into silence. The trust, gifts, secrecy, and “relationship” are enough. In some cases, the abuser will coerce the child into silence by saying that if anyone finds out, he would go to jail, or the child would, and maybe the child’s parents. In other cases, threats to harm the child, pets, and family are used.Pedophiles can be “treated” but never cured, because their sexual preference has always been, and always will be, children. Their urges will always be present. Therefore, treatment focuses on changing, curbing, or re-directing the acting-out behaviors of pedophiles. Knowing the profile of a pedophile, does this mean that the little league coach who has a great rapport with kids and treats them to pizza at his house is suspect? Or that the teacher who throws pool parties is? Of course not. The majority of people who like and work with children are not pedophiles. It does mean that we should be observant of all the adults in our children’s lives, whether they wear a white collar, a blue collar, or a clerical collar.

Retrieved on March 15, 2011 from http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=519.

T. Sharee